Matthew Engel's tribute to Laurie Engel

I have been a (relatively) regular reader of Matthew Engel's articles on cricket over the last couple of years. I was quite surprised to see a link on Cricinfo that linked to an article which read "Young Engel lives on in the memory".

That article linked on to Mr. Engel's tribute to his son Laurie - an extremely heart-rending one at that. I wonder how one writes about one's private grief in a public forum (read: The Guardian) - but then I guess we all find closure one way or the other! He wrote:

"..........I want a word. But if there is meaning or purpose or logic in this, we can't see it. In the early stages of the illness, I thought - superstitiously, maybe - that I was being punished. I thought of all the shitty things I'd done, the beggars and Big Issue sellers I had walked by. But Laurie never walked by a beggar: he was the softest touch in the world. He was punished with all the pain.........."

It is human nature for us to ask the question "Why......?". Our memories flash back to all the unpleasant stuff we have done (inadvertently or otherwise) and we feel queasy.

We live a few thousand miles away from our near and dear ones - atleast I do. A number from back home flashing on your cellphone display sets your heart racing - especially when it is unexpected. I cannot fathom what M went through last week, but it was one big blur for us. We did whatever we could, but still came in for a bit of criticism from some quarters (rather one!). Agreed, they might have been through a similar situation, but I dont think it gives them a license to pass judgement on the way someone else handles the situation. But then, that is the way the dice rolls I guess.

It got us thinking....
The memories from our childhood.....
The first day of school....
The fevers and hospital visits we have gotten through....
The cricket bat which we got as a gift when we were in 4th standard....
School prize days.....
Sunday evenings.....
Cricket 'matches' in the living room....
Late night snacks.....
Fights over the television remote....
Discussions about the 'facts of life'....
Arguments over our sartorial tastes....
Creative differences with regard to musical tastes...

There are so many memories we have....each and every one a photograph/video clip of a moment that slipped away in time.....

In our pursuits of goals we often 'lose track' of the small things which make us what we are. We feel invincible....the fire beneath our skin and in our heart....But every time we feel down, there will always be some folks who will always provide good counsel and a shoulder....